What's on Your Mind?

Please share your thoughts with us!

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Your Story

Karen worked with a group of coaches this month, teaching them the IAM frameworks as a way to coach managers on the challenges they face.

A common theme in the discussion:

How to coach managers to get results in the face of the uncertainty they are facing?

A tool that these folks found useful: delving deeply into the managers 'stories' or patterns of beliefs to make powerful shifts in results.

Getting Personal

We had a recent revelation on a corporate project that Diane, Lorraine and Karen were working on. Lorraine was feeling disconnected and Karen was ready for more engagement from Lorraine.

What happened? Lorraine gracefully shared that she wasn't feeling passionate about the work. Karen directly shared what she wanted. The mutual decision was for Lorraine to step out of the project.

That's it. Easy as pie!

Can you image - a world where everyone gets exactly what they want or something even better?

What's New

Does Playing in the Gap! look different to you? We've made the switch to a new delivery tool and updated template. You should now be able to see the html version via your email reader.

Thanks to the folks at Atlantic BT for helping us make the switch. We now feel confident that we have the right tool to grow with our business and the support from ABT to get it right.

Please let us know if you have any problems reading this newsletter. Thanks!

Communications Corner

How we communicate is a very personal matter. For example, if a person has a form of autism, can you expect him/her to make eye contact with other people in your organization?

The issue of personal style in communications has come up as part of our corporate work.

Our approach has been to emphasize the need to understand the business context for interpersonal skills (for example, rapport with others is needed for successful teamwork) and to honor the personal style of the individual.

In the case of a person with autism, the question then becomes, in what ways could this individual build rapport with others that is personally comfortable? How about making personal introductions via a web page explaining his/her situation?

We'd love to know your thoughts about this and your questions about communications!

"Know we are close to our true mission on earth when what we are doing is touched with the energy of enthusiasm."

   ~~ Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on firel."

     ~~ Arnold Glasow

"Our purpose is hidden in our joy, our inspiration, our excitement. As we act on what shows up in our life, our purpose shows up."

     ~~ James King

Investing Energy

There is nothing more important than making choices to invest our energy in ways that result in feeling good.

In our February issue of Playing in the Gap! we look at just how challenging and rewarding it can be to true to yourself when investing your energy. Words like uncaring, selfish and irresponsible come to mind, and can be transformed into compassionate, generous and responsible with a simple shift in perspective.

Table of Contents

Stop the Insanity and Lighten Up
What's the Point?
When insanity is a path to greater love and appreciation.

I Have Something to Say
Phooey on the Bad Economy 
One woman's story about creating value, even when things are looking bad.

Yes, I AM Brilliant
Do You Have the Guts to do Whatever it Takes?
Investing energy in saying 'yes!' to your dreams.

Why Can't I Go It Alone?
Wandering in the Wilderness
Paying attention to where I get my energy.

Stop the Insanity  and Lighten Up
What's the Point? - by Karen Tax

This question came up as my two sisters and I engaged in a series of reunion planning emails. As issues about clean-up arising from previous reunions started to be discussed, I felt myself getting uncomfortable.

What was really going on here?

I wanted to understand the motivation behind what was being said. I was also highly motivated by a vision I hoped we all had for this reunion: an enjoyable celebration of my parents 50^th wedding anniversary.

So I started asking others what they wanted and sharing what I wanted.

Then, the conversation became confusing. The problem of clean-up (someone’s got to do it so let’s just make it fair) somehow wasn’t fitting with my pie-in-the-sky, airy fairy questions about wants.

After being invited to share more about my perspective, I launched into what you might call ‘Big Karen.’ Like a sharp, pointy pencil, I poked into what I was seeing (victim behavior) and asked again for honesty about wants.

The result? A whole lot of honesty!

Boy was there a lot more going on than issues of clean-up fairness! Our little drama became a big drama.  The pointy pencil me popped a balloon of illusion around our perfect family and unleashed a whoosh of information about the ‘real us.’ Not everyone liked what they saw.

The drama was useful, informing and the disconnection in our communicating was vast. To my great pleasure, both of my sisters were happy to sort things out over the phone. I learned so much about each of them in the process, and vice versa. I experienced a much greater understanding of and connection with them both.

So what’s the point of drama that feels pointless?

By popping the bubble of illusion about our family, we have an opportunity to be more fully engaged in preparing for and celebrating what is truly most important in all of this: two loving parents who have spent a lifetime dedicated to each other and their family.

In the process, I hope my family will come to know and appreciate the ‘Big Karen’ that I realize now I had been holding back. I know for sure I am much better prepared to love and appreciate everyone in my family more than ever.

And that’s the point!

I Have Something To Say
Phooey on the Bad Economy - by Diane Craver

I watched a television program the other day about people who are calm during disasters. Apparently they are genetically predisposed to calm thinking during a crisis. Maybe these people need to be in charge of the economy!

This program also discussed that most people during a crisis simply freeze. They don’t do anything and they usually die. Since markets are based on momentum (ours is fear based right now), I think we need to perform like those genetically blessed people who are calm during disasters. They don’t look for people to blame or freeze. They stop, assess the situation calmly, and act.

Consider the example of Jackie who is a terrific example of someone who decided to create value even in grim circumstances. Last year Jackie called me when she found herself in a precarious position; the department she thought she would grow soon lost its leader and champion.

Jackie was worried and wanted to have a game plan. She said, “I’m not going to sit idly by while someone else determines my fate.” Jackie focused on how she could create value for herself as well as the organization. She reflected on what she is good at, what excites her, and what is important to her. Next she started looking for weak areas in the company. After she assessed her values, strengths, and motivations, she examined what she could contribute to the organization that would significantly impact the business.

Jackie pulled her plan together, talked with a few trusted colleagues for feedback and input, and then started engaging her network in the company. She had invested in healthy relationships with many people outside her organization and higher up in the company, so when she asked for appointments, they consented to meet with her.
 
After several months of negotiating, the CEO approved a role for Jackie to head up a new department that addresses Jackie’s vision. In today’s economy, that may seem improbable, but the CEO stated, “If this group can add value, I’ll invest in it.”

Jackie didn’t just add value – she created value! She is very excited about her new role and how she hopes to help the company grow out of a troubled economy. Jackie has taught me a lot about speaking up and investing your energy to make your own reality!

Yes, I Am Brilliant
Do You Have the Guts to do Whatever it Takes? - by Lorraine Cohen 

This past weekend I was in LA for Christine Kloser’s Freedom Formula Experience which was life-altering. Throughout the weekend I was brought to tears in response to my spirit calling yes, yes, yes to the things I was hearing, experiencing, and most of all, remembering.

To organize an event like last weekend is no small feat. Christine talked about the courage it takes to push through the fears, the financial stake, the commitment to go the distance no matter what because her spirit and God is telling her to “go for it” despite what is happening within her yelling, “Are you out of mind to do this event? What were you thinking???” 

The answer is yes.

You must literally be “out of your mind” to be connected to you heart - to be “in your heart” to hear the whispers of your soul guiding you to become the brilliant and highest version of who you are.

You must be willing to release attachments to everything and walk through your fears to open the gates of Heaven on earth. Not just once, but over and over.

I have come to fully believe that making decisions that are ego-driven from fear and lack will only create more fear and lack. Not more abundance, joy or peace.

One evening, Christine moderated a panel discussion with eight highly successful conscious entrepreneurs. They spoke about the fears that still arise when they are asked to s-t-r-e-t-c-h waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of their comfort zone, the support they use to stand strong, and the willingness to jump into the unknown. They have happy and prosperous lives.

It’s no secret. They listen to their soul/God and follow they are asked to do, without reservations, in total faith, trust and guts.

Do you have the guts to say YES to your dreams and desires or are you continuing to say no?

One point that stayed with me was that when your desire for something becomes strong and catches your attention that is because the Universe has already handled it on your behalf. It’s a done deal. Your success is assured, and now it is time to move into action and follow your intuition to bring that desire into manifestation. That inner nudging is telling you “All is well, take the next steps in faith and trust”.

For a burst of inspiration, view my new video, I Say Yes!

Why Can't I Go It Alone
Wandering in the Wilderness - by Lisa Negstad

Lately, as I consider my move from a dense, row-house neighborhood of Baltimore to an isolated log home on 16 acres of oak and pine.  I wonder…..what the heck was I thinking making this move?

I moved to the woods, to live closer to nature where I can see the stars every night.  The idea for this move started as a small insistent voice that would periodically pop in my head as I navigated my relatively happy life in Baltimore. 

“Lisa, when are you actually going to follow this dream?”

“Lisa, you have lived in densely urban areas (DC, Phnom Penh, Brooklyn, NY, Baltimore) for your entire adult life – when you are going to let this inner farmer girl out for real?”

“Lisa, you are not getting any younger, what are you afraid of?”

Well, I did it.  Here I am.  Living my dream.  Sort of.  It’s not quite what I expected. 

In fact, the last 5 months have felt like I’m lost in the wilderness (figuratively that is…. I do actually make it back to my log home after my literal walks in the wilderness).  I’m not exactly sure this is the right place for me, or how to go about developing new friendships, or figuring out my new work path.  And, I’m not exactly sure what the answers are, or where that “path” is for me.

So, here’s one thing I’m doing as I wander in that wilderness.  I’m paying attention to where I get energy.  And, wherever that is, I’m investing even more energy into it. 

For example, I know that I absolutely love coordinating the logging days for the retreat center that I’m a part of.  I love getting together all of these guys who have been felling trees and running a chain saw their whole lives.  We go into the woods and get as much wood as we can in one day for the retreat center lodge.  (Our one day record was 8 cords!)

So, wherever my energy is, I go.  I’m thinking of it like God speaking to me, helping to beckon me, ever so slowly, out of this wilderness of change.

If any of you are in Minnesota on February 14 - join us for our next wood day!