Trusting Your Wise Self
With time and experience on the IAM Journey comes the ability to know the difference between action fueled by Drama (fear and anxiety) and action fueled by Essence (passion and curiosity). Imagine families, organizations and communities all moving forward together from a place of Essential synergy!
In our September 2008 issue of Playing in the Gap! we explore Trusting Your Wise Self, where you choose, decide and act from the wisdom of your Essence, while Drama swirls around to keep us growing.
Table of Contents
Being Messy
What Does "Hubris" Mean?
How trusting in your wise self can lead to abundant knowing.
Calling Passion
Removing Constraints
Letting go of the drama to create opportunities.
Finding Courage
Stretch Out of Your Comfort Zone
Within each of us is a wise self asking to be heard. Are you
listening?
Being Messy
What Does "Hubris" Mean? - by Karen Tax
Today I shared with a dear friend that I wanted to reconnect at some point. I was hoping that she was beyond the pain of a past situation, ready to share her learning. I was specific with what I wanted, including more honesty from her than in the past.
She responded by saying “What hubris.” I looked-up the word “hubris” in dictionary.com to find:
hu·bris [hyoo-bris] – noun
excessive pride or self-confidence; arrogance
What a beautiful mirror: If I ask for what I want in a relationship with another person, then I will be seen as having hubris.
Reading the definition of “hubris” reminded me of one of the biggest obstacles I have overcome in being able to clearly ask for what I want: the fear of being seen as arrogant or full of pride.
The word “hubris” was a test for my wise self: The part of me that knows my deepest desires and is not afraid to speak them; The part of me that knows asking for greater honesty is a journey that we are all on, and that sometimes people can welcome my requests with relish or clear boundaries – or defensiveness if I’ve hit a hot button.
My wise self knew that “hubris” wasn’t about me because I had no charge when reading its definition. I felt calm, clear and peaceful in my desire. I felt love for my friend and her projection.
I hesitated to share this story because of a residual belief I have that I shouldn’t cause this type of reaction with people: “It’s not good to make waves” or “don’t make people angry” are assumptions that have caused me to hold back my desires.
Trusting my wise self gave me courage to overcome these old beliefs and even share them with you, to use my passion and curiosity as an invitation to connect with the wise self of my friend and others.
Playing with the
IAM Touchstone: “We’re always working for each other” has made it
easier to trust my wise self and to know there are abundant
opportunities to engage my desires and yours.
I love this IAM Touchstone because it makes it easy to bypass judgment of my interactions. If someone triggers something in me – I can be grateful for the growth, learning and healing for me and vice versa. It’s all good! Even my hubris.
Calling Passion
Removing Constraints
- by Diane Craver
Years ago, I worked with a sharp guy, Joe*, who hired me to help him with his career plan. He traveled the globe, spoke several languages, and spent some time in military intelligence. Joe worked closely with customers in various roles of increasing responsibility. He was the “go-to guy,” someone you could trust to get the job done and get it done right – solid as a rock!
As we discussed Joe’s work history and career interests, I asked him if he could do anything he wanted, what would he really, really love to do. He said he would love to sell – that was his passion. I asked him what was preventing him from a sales job and he said he didn’t have much sales experience. Huh? That was a strange response to me because although Joe did not have the title of a sales person, I could see “sales” in many aspects of his career.
What happened to Joe happens to many of us. We are the ones placing constraints – constraints we put there ourselves. We are so immersed in our own drama of fear, anxiety, and trying to control everything, that we become closed off to the possibilities of something wonderful.
To make a long story short, Joe got out of his drama, found a company he
wanted to work for, and convinced them they needed to create a position
for him to help them expand their business into international markets.
Joe created his own job that perfectly suited him, and he provided
incredible value for his corporation by growing their business
exponentially.
What happened for Joe can happen for anyone. Joe is one example of the many people I have seen who have done the exact same thing. Even with the economic downturn, people are still getting jobs, still getting promotions, still making business deals, and so on. Once Joe shifted his perspective and became curious, open-minded, and objective, he became the creator of his own career. It is when he let go and trusted himself that everything started to flow.
So, what about you? What fears are in the way of your getting what you want? How can you shift to a place of curiosity, objectivity, and open-mindedness? Imagine a career that’s a perfect fit for you, honor your inner wisdom, and you might discover something better than you could ever have imagined.
*Not his real name.
Finding Courage
Stretch Out of Your Comfort Zone - by Lorraine Cohen
This past weekend, I spent time with a dear friend at her parent’s lakefront home while they were away on vacation. I was really looking forward to relaxing, playing, soaking in the hot tub, and doing some personal transformation work together. So, when she said she really wanted to do a sweat lodge (http://www.tfn.net/Museum/culture/sweat_lodge.html), my initial reaction was less than enthusiastic.
Several hours of sweating in total darkness with strangers, and being vulnerable felt too uncomfortable! No, no, no! Then I let go of the resistance (shifting from constriction to expansion thinking), sat with the idea and considered different options. I could go and support her without participating, experience part of it for a while and stop at any time, or I could stay for the whole experience and really stretch myself. Sweat lodges offer powerful spiritual, physical, and emotionally cleansing and healing experiences…. Intuitively, I felt a pull to go. So, I said YES.
It was an incredibly wonderful experience. In fact, the whole weekend was filled with gifts and blessings as I experienced several things for the first time. Being fully present to feelings, new insights, and sensations was exhilarating and freeing.
It’s easy to come up with reasons and excuses to say “no” when we
feel afraid or uncomfortable. We have the ability to effectively
rationalize and justify a point of view to make it sound and feel
believable. We become adept at convincing ourselves that our conclusions
are accurate. To add leverage, we collect evidence to back up our “NO”
in case we, or anyone else, challenges our decision. When we really get
honest, though, and listen to our heart, our inner wisdom shines
through.
Learning to distinguish a valid “no” from a critical “yes” is an important skill and talent worth developing. The strength of our NO is often a powerful signal that saying YES to moving forward, in spite of the resistance, is the step we are meant to take as a leap of faith. Within each of us is a wise self that can be censored and distrusted or invited to be a guiding force in our life. We can listen to our inner wisdom or deny it.