What's on Your Mind?

Please share your thoughts with us!  

Our ongoing survey is a way to stay in touch with you.  Please let us know how you are doing in this survey and we'll respond in the next issue of our newsletter or in person.

It's good to be in touch with you!

Your Story

One of our personal clients experienced family drama over the holidays. How many of you experienced the same?

 

For this client, the heightened expectations of the holidays combined with extra time with her family caused her to see the truth about her family more clearly than ever: they are much more dysfunctional than she had realized before.

 

What to do? Especially when she wants to be in relationship with her family at the same time she wants to run away?

 

It’s important to know that seeing reality more clearly is often the result of striving for our dreams. When we want more and more to be at our best, we often see those places in our life where we are not able to be at our best.

 

It’s also important to know that moving toward our best is often just the impetus others need to break out of ineffective patterns: “I love you and I want to be with you – the healthy, fun and happy you” can be a compassionate and firm trigger for change.

 

Our challenge to you is to not let others hold you back, and indeed to invite others to join you in your Essential Best journey! You get to choose. And so does your family. Deep, deep down, everyone wants to be healthy and happy even as they are choosing otherwise.

 

Choosing to be our Essential Best can be the greatest gift we give others.

 

Getting Personal

 

The end of 2008 was mixed for those of us involved with IAM: it was the end of one of our most successful years ever and we lost one of our promising corporate clients (the folks we developed Essential Career Savvy for).

 

On the positive side, this experience allowed us to develop Essential Career Savvy (ECS):

 

-     We expanded the Career Navigator content we developed for Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina [BCBSNC] to be much more robust and complete.

 

-   We established a new delivery system using an LMS.

 

-   We positioned ourselves well to leverage this material in a public offering and with future corporate clients.

 

The feedback we got from the client was that our content was solid but the delivery was not ‘spiffy’ enough; we needed to work on our packaging. We also received some tough feedback on the workshop sessions we conducted: people were confused by the experiential learning and didn’t understand that learning coming from participants is a goal of coaching and a sign of success.

 

Looking back, we were pretty sure that this client was not a good fit for IAM. And in true IAM fashion, we began to mine the Drama for learning.  And in doing so, we are now discovering that, in many ways, this client turned out to be ideal for us but not in the way we expected.

 

To learn more about what we learned as we were mining the Drama, click here.

What's New

We’ve been using iContact to deliver our electronic newsletter to you. We’ve been frustrated with the functionality and support we’ve been receiving, so we’re switching to another product soon.

 

We also are very interested in better interaction with you than iContact could provide. We very much want to be in communication with you! So we’re looking into setting up a blog where you can more easily contribute your thoughts.

 

We’ll keep you posted on progress!

Communications Corner

As we’re developing Essential Everyday Communications for one of our corporate clients, we’ve realized that advocating for yourself in conversation is a basic skill that many people lack.

 

Most people are taught that listening is an essential communication skill. And it is. Equally essential, if a conversation is to have a healthy balance, is being able to express yourself: your perspective, your passions, your wants.

 

The work you do outside of a conversation is just as important as the conversation. Consider the following questions when preparing for your next discussion:

 

    -  What is important to me?

    -  What do I want?

    -  What am I willing to flex on?

    -  What do I want to take a stand

       for? For myself and for others?

 

Then let us know how it goes! What helps you advocate for yourself in conversation?

 

We also would still love to hear

from you and learn of your communications celebrations and challenges.  So, please, share your communications thoughts with us here.

Call To Being

A call to being is an opportunity to connect more deeply with the aliveness and possibility that has been awakened in you by reading this newsletter.

In pushing this button, we invite you to the "other side" to clarify intentions, launch them into your larger Life, and open to the delightful certainty that you will be met.

 

 

 

 

 

Let your light shine within you so that it can shine on someone else.

                                ~~ Oprah

 

 

 

 

 

 

“In order to do the impossible, you must see the invisible.”

                        ~~ David Murdock

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lost

Wagoner

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach is joy. There is radiance and glory in the darkness could we but see – and to see we have only to look.”

           ~~ Fra Giovanni Giocondo

 

 

 

Celebrating Shine

A new year! A new beginning! A time to let go of what no longer works and embrace our hopes for 2009.

In our January issue of Playing In the Gap! we invite you to commit to a year of Celebrating Shine. Focusing on your brilliant, feel-good, shining best is the most powerful and effective way to create exactly the life and business you want.

Table of Contents

Stop the Insanity and Lighten Up 
Insisting on Our Mutual Best

Learning how to ask for the shining best in each other.

Stop the Insanity and Lighten Up
Insisting on Our Mutual Best - by Karen Tax

I continue to learn how to challenge my best self to shine as brightly as possible, and to invite those around me to shine as well in their own unique and beautiful ways. I am letting go of parts of me that settle for less and are disappointed.

This integration of learning and letting go continues …

After launching the Essential Career Savvy pilot this past fall, our client ended our work in a way that made it clear we didn’t have a good fit. I felt as if my work was catching up with the part of me that would no longer settle for anything less than maximum mutual shine!

And this was a tough way to end 2008. I was faced with questions: “How do I stop the insanity of creating partnerships that are less than what I want?” and “Can I create mutual experiences of celebrating brilliance?”

Over the holidays I had the opportunity to address these questions with my most important partner – my husband Jan.

Our joyful holiday celebrations with family and friends were mixed with much needed alone time that quickly devolved into lonely disconnection. At one point my husband said, “I’m not feeling great.”

Rather than dwelling in the whys of this situation, I tersely and even impatiently directed our conversation toward the shine I knew I wanted to experience: “What would help your confident self show up?” I asked. Jan responded, “A little feedback would be nice.”  I said, “Me too! I want to see the shiny you,” realizing I was talking to myself as I spoke with Jan.

We used our conversation to pop ourselves out of the muddy rut of our doldrums and doubt, like pulling a car from a ditch onto a shiny wide open highway!

Looking back, I realize that my lonely time was fruitful: I confronted my fears and my identified wants. By the time Jan and I talked we were both ready to connect from a new, more vulnerable place.

Later I asked Jan if I had been too harsh while insisting on our mutual shine. “No” he said. “I felt called to my best self. It was just what I needed – a reminder not to fall into old patterns.”

During a dark and dreary North Carolina winter, Jan and I called on the light in ourselves by being in conversation with each other.

We are looking forward to celebrating light and levity with each other and YOU everyday in 2009!

I Have Something to Say
Everyday Brilliance - by Diane Craver

What do you think of when you see the word “brilliance”? Intelligence, genius, talent, skill? Yes, these are all words that describe brilliance, but they are only one way to describe it. Brilliance is in all of us, and we don’t have to be Rhodes scholars or multi-billionaires to be brilliant.

Here are some examples of everyday brilliance:

·         My husband is brilliant at finding better ways to do things. Even today, Jeff’s family talks about how he reengineered shucking massive quantities of corn when he was just a kid!

·         Amaris, my niece, is brilliant at playing the game, Apples to Apples. She is 10 years old, and has the most creative answers. Even when she may not have the “right” answer, she makes it seem right.

·         My dog, Katie, is brilliant at getting everyone to fall in love with her. She is so sweet and fun – just being around her makes people happy.

·         The woman at the Chick-Fil-A window today is brilliant at remembering what I like even though I only go there once a month. She always says, “my pleasure!” I love that!

·         I see my neighbor’s brilliance every day when I look at their “Smurf-blue” house. They remind me not to take myself so seriously.

How are you brilliant? Sometimes what we reveal to others is not really what we intend.  How can you paint a picture for others to describe who you really are and what makes you special? Acknowledge your own brilliance. Now, who needs to know about it? Is it your boss, your partner, your friends, your family, others? How do you authentically tell others about your brilliance so that it feels right to you?

Next, look for ways of identifying brilliance in others. Try to find one person every day and tell them what makes them brilliant. Embracing others with genuine affirmation creates abundant energy that radically shifts our thoughts away from scarcity and negativity. Hope, change, unity, peace – it starts with us!

Yes, I AM Brilliant
Write a "Thank You" Letter to God - by Lorraine Cohen 

At the beginning of 2008, in addition to creating a theme year and treasure map or vision board, I wrote a “Thank You” letter to God. The idea was suggested in my mastermind group. We were each asked to write the letter and read it at our group meeting.

The idea is this:

The letter is dated for the last day of the year. Imagine it is the end of the year and you are gratefully reflecting on all the accomplishments, miracles, gifts, blessings, joys…. that occurred in 2009. Written as if it has already happened, let your heart write the letter expressing all you want for yourself, others, and the world for 2009.

When I wrote my letter last year, my theme was "Bring It On". I was ready to take my business to the next level and challenge myself to “stop playing small” so my letter invited me to achieve and celebrate some big dreams in 2008. When I shared it out loud to the group, I was surprised at all the emotion that came up. I had let myself dream big and by the end of the reading, I was in tears. It was incredibly powerfull.

A few days ago I reread my letter for 2008. How’d I do in manifesting my dreams and desires? Great in some areas. 2008 had some surprises and bumps.  All in all, it was a very rich year that invited my gifts, brilliance, and skills to shine.

My letter for 2009 is a BIGGER vision that really excites me. My theme is “I Say YES!” Subconscious beliefs and behaviors can sabotage dreams and desires when we are misaligned with manifesting what we want. Personally, there is specific healing and belief shifting that needs my attention this year.

You are a Creator. You are creating every moment of every day with your thoughts, words, and actions. When you partner with God/The Divine to deliberately and consciously create your dreams and desires by remembering Who You Are, all things are possible. In “Happier Than God” by Neale Donald Walsch, we are reminded that “Life is meant to be happy.”

It’s a New Year filled with opportunities and possibilities. What do you wish to manifest in 2009?

Write your “Thank You” letter to God and say YES to your dreams and desires. Make 2009 your year to shine!

Why Can't I Go It Alone?
Fear and Darkness - Can There Be Shine? - by Lisa Negstad

The fear creeps into me, slowly.  My skin crawls a bit, I’m on edge, my heart is pounding. This has been happening to me every night as I take my dog out for his last walk for the day.  I dread going out into the dark night in the woods.  It’s scary.  I feel really alone, the woods around me.  The fear holds me throughout the walk.

I recently became the primary parent of an English springer spaniel named Kjell (a Norwegian name pronounced “chell”).  He really belongs to my father.  But we decided he would like living out on the 16 acres of woods with me.  And, frankly, I could use the company as I start this new life in a log cabin, 10 miles from the nearest town and a ½ mile in from the county, gravel road.

Every night, I bundle up (lately we have been having temps

of -10 or -20  and, no, these are not temps with a windchill factor), grab the flashlight, and walk fast to get the walk over with because of the fear it brings.

The other night, I went out the same way – the fear gnawing on me.  Half way in the walk, something happened.  I came up short and stopped in my tracks.  It dawned on me that I was witnessing the absolutely most beautiful sight I have ever experienced.  The moon was up, the stars clear and bright, shining on the snow capped white pine trees.  I could see clearly without the flashlight.  There was complete, absolute silence.  Kjell stopped in awe with me, like he knew what we were experiencing was holy.  Mystery.  God was there. 

In that moment, the fear just melted away.  I realized this fear of dark woods was so false:  a construct of my mind.   This fear was really just a pretense – like a wise woman once told me, it was F.E.A.R. - False Expectations Appearing Real.  I actually wasn’t alone.  Every one of those trees was there for me; a tangible part of my community.

Now I love going into the woods every night (even in the -20 temperature).

I hope to bring this into every thing that causes me fear in this New Year ahead.  I want to stop, find the holiness, the mystery in it – the shining brilliance illuminating what is causing me those false expectations.   Move through it and come to let it surround me guiding me into that unexpected beautiful sight.

Happy New Year to all of you!